slightly eccentric.

I dont actually know where to start actually. I had a rough day. maybe it's just me. All the thoughts just keep on creeping back at me and i dont know how the hell should i deal with something i dont freaking know where came from.

ME and MY BIGMOUTH.

I dont know what im feeling. Maybe because im so tired waiting for something that will never come. And for once, i admit that im so so tired. Can i exist without having to explain or defend myself at all.

I cant please everyone. i dont think i should make even one move to make them please me.

the diligent student within me made me awake for those boring hours

Watta day. I felt so low. I miss someone so bad. Why is it so hard for me to move on and get over stuffs.


Anyway, why am i writing something about my stupid lovelife again?? yeah It's stupid. It's dull. I feel like im so so wasting my precious time about that person im not even sure cares about me and my existence.

So much of that!!

this day was more boring than exciting. I met some new teachers and had an orientation about their subject but i felt like sleeping talaga. of course i didn't. What impression would i give them if i actually do that?? But still the diligent student within me made me awake for those hours. Too many requirements as early as now. The REAL school days are happening already. I feel like im so not ready for it. i dunno why. Im really lazy n talaga. Waking me up is as hard as inserting a thread into a needle. well.. Goodluck saken. at sa nang-gigising saken. :D

first day pandemonium

What a fine day it surely was.

i wish i was deaf for about an hour before the classes start. it was really loud. full of voices screaming to their old classmates as if they're gone a million years. Hugs, giggles, laughs enveloped the room. Full of love!!

The people surrounding me seemed to find their lost treasures only their voices, deafening.


I feel like i regretted the excitement i felt for the past month ive been bored at home. i could not admit fully to myself ive wanted this day more than any day this year. and i was mortified. i was embarrassed to hear such screams( annoying screams). so irritating. really.

But still i saw my loved ones. my best friends, my beloved teachers, even to those i disagree at times. but im satisfied with this day, a day to start a more challenging and fruitful year. i hope. :D

i will see.

The first day of classes would be the day after tomorrow. I've waited for this day for about months now. Yeah, the enthusiasm's still there and i still can feel the excitement. The preparations I've made are countless. Still, a part of me is afraid of what future is ahead of me.

here's a confession:
I've been dying to see that one person. I missed that person so much I cannot wait to even hug that person. In short I've been looking forward for that day to come. A day that would seem to be a chance to see that one person. A day of excuse for me to glance that person and eventually to talk to him, catch things up, have a very long conversation of what we did this summer, this vacation and lots of things for us to do.

My imagination just shattered into pieces. i cried. i felt so so bad. he would not be in the same school as i am. all the things im planning to do with him just became hopeless. he's too far now.

just now, all the regrets came over me. i was mortified by my own little hopes.

i forgot to tell that one person something. and i think i had all those chances. yet, i was so afraid of the risks . all those fears inside of me became a hindrance for me to shut my mouth whenever i feel like saying those words in his face.

and now i think, i can never say that phrase anymore. i had all the chances yet i wasted it.

so why am i afraid of the future that's ahead of me??
i think im afraid that i would be so uninspired of not seeing him. i would miss him so much. still i have to forget all those feelings. yeah, it seems that time cant erase a feeling this strong.. but i'll see.