incognito

before reading this, be sure you've read my last poem, nostalgia. This one is like the response of the devil:> enjoy.

INCOGNITO
(with identity concealed)


i used to live a life full of drudgery
i was infamous, fallible and devilish
i rejoiced as darkness embraced my being
for i could not see how i turned out to be


then i saw her in the evanescent rays of sunset
mesmerized, the heavens cleared as i stared at her.
she had an angelic visage that i could never forget
reality shook me, showed me the different world i was in


It didn't feel like we were under the same sky
though we breathed the same air, had the same Creator
for she proved there could be heaven on earth
i was held under her spell, i do confess


I had to feign for the truth might frighten her
meeting her was ineffable, it couldn't be described
only then did i believe opposites attract
for we had an uncanny connection of love and fervor


We had something which started with lies
though the feeling i had was genuine all along
the truth behind who i was would put her to agony
i spared her from more pain so i left her alone


For while i thought i could bear what i've done
Yet i left her a part of me i never knew i had
I went back to see her to have my heart back
incognito, i couldn't help but comfort her weeping soul


With a kiss, she almost surmised who i was
Another touch became the demise of my secret
She escaped, damaged, scarred and fooled
i never saw her since then, i never should


written by alecxandra rimbao
may 18, 2009

fcuked up.

My life's fucked up. It seems hopeless. I feel helpless.

I once had a thought while i was logged in in facebook. While i was opening an application, I wondered why it would always ask me if i would "allow" others to have an acces to what i do as if others would care. It gives me the option to "post" and let others see what im doing or "skip" so it could be seen by no one. It does irritate me due to the fact that i hate being asked the same question once. Just then, i realized that more than the quizzes, my friends, the chat feature, games and quizzes, that irritating item is what i like best in facebook.

So what's the connection of my life fucked up and facebook?

Nothing.

Last night i hoped my life's a little different. Someone came into my room without knocking. I pretended i was doing something. The truth was, tears were rolling down my face. Thoughts came all over me reminding me of the misery I'm in.

I have friends to share my problems with. Yet, I believe that there are things i have to deal myself successfully before i ask for rescue and have someone answer my life's questions for me.

Just so you know...

I hate people lying to me and still manage to give me a smile.

I have to review in a center to pass UPCAT and ACET.

I need to see my friends.




Are those things too much to ask for?


I'm not asking for shortcuts on how to live an easy life nor give me all the ways not to screw it. I'm just wondering why life's treating me like this. I'm not broke. Just Broken. Oh. maybe Both.